Work-Life Balance: Seriously?
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“Work-life balance” has an aura of myth around it—like a unicorn that grants wishes or a bathing suit that fits in all the rights places, is comfortable, and allows you to do basic movements—like, you know, swimming. (Sorry, can you tell I’m contemplating bathing suit season?)



We’d like to think work-life balance exists, because we’d all desperately love to have it. But in our heart of hearts, most of us have a creeping suspicion that it isn’t really possible. (Unless you’re a celeb or a millionaire with plenty of staff on hand to help you achieve that “balance.”)



But, no matter what your situation—whether you’re a corporate climber, a freelancer, or anything in between…whether you have a family or are on your own…work-life balance is possible. It just takes a little strategic planning, an awareness of your priorities, and the willingness to stand up for your own time, health, and sanity.



Think you’ve got it in you to pull that off? (I know you do; Amanda’s told me you’re a tail-kicking bunch.) Then read on to find out how to make work-life balance possible for you:



What do you really want?



“Balance” means different things for each of us. If you’re an ambitious hustler type, then you might feel perfectly happy working on a dozen different projects—so long as they’re projects you’re truly passionate about. If you’re more of a Zen type, your balanced life might involve plenty of time to relax, stare up at the sky, and get in touch with nature.



There is no one-size-fits-all formula for work-life balance; it’s all about what makes you feel satisfied, energized, happy, and fulfilled. Identifying what your must-haves are is the first step in creating a life that works for you.



So be honest with yourself. What do you need in your “you” time to make you feel like your life is totally, jump-up-and-down worth it? Forget about what you think you should be including—a lovely yoga regime won’t help you feel balanced if what you truly yearn to do in your spare time is to start a knitting shop on Etsy.



Bonus tip: Don’t forget to examine your work life, too. If things are totally off-kilter there (too much stress, a horrible boss, etc.), it can carry over into your personal time. Work-life balance isn’t just about striking the right mix between the two, but about making sure both are on track in their own way.



Be ruthless about your priorities



Whatever your must-haves are, whatever your schedule is, you have the time for the things you want to do. You just have to be relentless about making the time for them. Don’t think you can? You (and I say this in the nicest, most looking-out-for-you way possible) are completely wrong.



We all have 24 hours in a day—and we all have to give some of those hours away to things like eating, sleeping, and earning a bit of money to enable us to have food to eat and a room to sleep in. But we have a lot more say over the hours left over than we might think. We’re just not being vigilant enough about tracking our time and how we use it.



Take a long, hard look at the hours at your disposal. First, is there any way you can shave off some extra free time? (See the last section on saying “no” more often.) Time management (a key tool in work-life balance) is all about focusing on those tasks that give you the highest return on investment. If you were running a business, you’d want to focus more on the projects that bring in the highest monetary value. In your personal life, you want to spend your evenings, weekends, lunch breaks, and what have yous on the tasks that give you the highest sense of personal value and satisfaction.



Which means your second task is identifying anything you’re currently spending time on that isn’t giving you that return on investment. Are you plopping in front of the TV when you get home from work to decompress for half an hour, only to find yourself hours later at the end of a Downton Abbey marathon you had no intention of watching? Be deliberate about your time. Don’t waste it on anything that isn’t necessary or fantastic.



Focus on your “you” time like it’s your job



You can set aside the early mornings to work on your novel, evenings and weekends to start your business, or Saturday nights to spend time with your significant other. But if you don’t use that time wisely, you might as well not have set it aside to begin with.



Prioritizing is more than just putting things in order on your to-do list. It also means prioritizing your attention so that whatever you’re focusing on at the moment, you’re giving your complete, uninterrupted focus. Otherwise, even your “you” time will feel stressful, which defeats the whole purpose.



Turn off your phone (and your Twitter, and your email pop-ups, and any other tempting bell or whistle that vies for your attention). Close your door. Block off your calendar. Set a timer for yourself. Do whatever you have to do to make sure the rest of the world doesn’t sneak into the quality time you’ve set aside for yourself.



Learn to say “no”



The world will do its darndest to encroach on your balance. Your boss will try to email you on the weekends. Your neighbor will try to talk you into helping organize the summer block sale. There’s only so much any of us can do, and trying to do everything for everyone is a surefire way to throw off your balance.



So, learn to say no, politely but firmly. You’re not being mean or selfish; you’re just acknowledging the fact that you need a little breathing room or else you’ll burn out and be no good to anyone. Are some people still going to get their feathers ruffled? Yeah, probably. But don’t feel bad about it. You’re not obliged to say yes to every request that comes your way.